PROLOGUE
A
MAGICAL PLACE (FOC)
DEMON
KING enters left.
DEMON
KING: Humans, I welcome you, let me
introduce myself
I am the Demon King, I’m somewhat bad for your health
Wicked, evil as
can be, and children, I hate yer
I don’t choose
to, I can’t really help it, it just happens to be my nature
Your greed, your
discontent, is what I thrive on best
It does not
matter how much you have, you’ll never have true happiness.
FAIRY
JOY enters right.
FAIRY
JOY: I beg to differ, Demon King,
there is in every girl and boy
The potential to be
content and happy say I the Fairy Joy
Your blackened heart
cannot see this, you just follow your evil trend
For
you have never felt love or joy and you’ve never had a friend.
DEMON
KING: Foolish fairy, can’t you see, no
matter how good their intent
All humans are
consumed by greed and wallow in discontent.
FAIRY
JOY: You are wrong and I am right of
that there is no danger
DEMON
KING: Then may I suggest, Fairy Joy, we
have a little wager?
Choose a mortal, anyone, perhaps of meagre
means
And see if
they’ll be contented after suffering all my schemes.
FAIRY
JOY: Very well, Demon King, if on this
path you are set
I will choose a champion
who will meet the challenge and win your little bet
I know just the person
who will be perfect to make you look a moose
Poor of pocket yet
rich of heart, her name is Mother Goose.
FAIRY
JOY exits right, DEMON KING exits left.
SCENE
1
VILLAGE
SQUARE
Curtain
up on village square, there are market stalls about but with meagre fare
available. VILLAGERS move about stage,
all are poorly dressed.
SONG 1 Lively chorus number performed by VILLAGERS.
Song
finishes, MAYOR MONEYBAGS enters left.
MAYOR: What’s all this noise?
VILLAGER
1: We were just singing a song,
Mayor Moneybags.
MAYOR: Singing, eh? Tell me, do you all like singing?
VILLAGERS: Oh yes, we love it.
MAYOR: You all enjoy raising your voices to a
merry tune?
VILLAGERS: Oh yes.
MAYOR: All of you?
VILLAGERS: Oh yes, all of us.
MAYOR: Good.
Then I’m sure you’ll all be delighted to hear that I’ve just introduced
a tax on singing.
VILLAGER
1: A tax on singing?!
VILLAGER
2: That’s appalling!
VILLAGER
1: I don’t think we should pay it.
General chorus of agreement from VILLAGERS.
MAYOR: It might interest you to learn that I’m
thinking of introducing a tax on arguing as well.
VILLAGER
1: Then again a singing tax seems
quite reasonable.
VILLAGER
2: Any old riff raff may start doing
it otherwise.
MAYOR
MONEYBAGS laughs and produces a bag, he moves around VILLAGERS who begin
putting money in it.
MAYOR: Excellent. Feel free to sing as much as you like from
now on. Now, have any of you seen that
old hag Mother Goose?
VILLAGER
1: Mother Goose isn’t an old hag,
she’s lovely.
MAYOR: I didn’t ask for her personality profile
I asked if you had seen her.
VILLAGER
1: Not today, no.
MAYOR: Well when you do see her, tell her she
owes me rent. And if I don’t get it this
time then she and her layabout son will be out on the street.
MAYOR
MONEYBAGS exits left laughing.
VILLAGER
2: What a horrible thing for him to
say about, Mother Goose.
VILLAGER
3: Yes, she may be poor but she’s
the nicest person in the village.
VILLAGER
1 looks right.
VILLAGER
1: Speaking of Mother Goose, here
she comes now.
MOTHER
GOOSE enters right carrying a basket.
MOTHER
GOOSE: Good morning,
everybody.
VILLAGERS: Good morning, Mother Goose.
VILLAGER
1: Mother Goose, you’d better watch
out.
MOTHER
GOOSE: Why?
VILLAGER
2: Mayor Moneybags is after you.
MOTHER
GOOSE: Ooh, has he
finally succumbed to my womanly wiles?
VILLAGER
3: No, he’s just after the rent as
usual.
MOTHER
GOOSE: That man has got
a one tracked mind. All he’s interested
in is money, money, money. Ooh, cue for
a song I think.
VILLAGER
1: No, don’t do that!
MOTHER
GOOSE: And why
not? I have a beautiful voice.
VILLAGER
1: Mayor Moneybags has put a tax on
singing.
MOTHER
GOOSE: He’s done
what?! Why, that no good, tight-fisted,
old meany. If he were here right now, I’d bash his...his...(notices AUDIENCE) children!
VILLAGERS: What?!
MOTHER
GOOSE: No, children, the
place is full of them.
VILLAGERS: (relieved) Oh.
MOTHER
GOOSE: (to
audience) Well hello, allow me to introduce
myself. My name’s Mother Goose, poorest
woman in the land. Oh, I’m so poor.
AUDIENCE+VILLAGERS: Aah.
MOTHER
GOOSE: I’m a lot poorer
that that, children.
AUDIENCE+VILLAGERS: Aah.
MOTHER
GOOSE: That’s
better. I wasn’t always this poor you
understand, when my husband was alive I was even poorer still. He was very dear to me, in a monetary sense
of course. He was the single most, lazy
man on the planet, he was so lazy that if the TV
remote control was out reach he had another remote to operate the other
one. Even when he was dreaming he dreamt
he was asleep in bed. It was six weeks
before I’d even noticed he had died. I
suppose I should have noticed earlier, he was getting a bit smelly,
he lost quite a bit of weight though.
But that’s all water under the bridge that I chucked him off as I
couldn’t afford the funeral expenses.
I’m better off without him and so is my son Jack. He’s everything his father wasn’t, he’s
handsome, brave, hard-working, likes to wear tights and talk about hair, he’s
everything a mother could possibly want in a...daughter, but he makes a lovely
son too. He should be here in a minute
but in the meantime I think we should have some fun. Every time I come on I’ll shout out “good-day,
everybody” and I want you to all shout back “good-day, gorgeous” as loud as you
can. Will you do that?
AUDIENCE: Yes.
MOTHER
GOOSE: Wonderful. Let’s have a practice. (MOTHER
GOOSE exits right then comes back on again)
Good-day everybody.
AUDIENCE+VILLAGERS: Good-day gorgeous.
MOTHER
GOOSE: Well that wasn’t
very convincing. Let’s give it another
go. (MOTHER
GOOSE exits right then come back on again)
Good-day, everybody.
AUDIENCE+VILLAGERS: Good-day, gorgeous.
MOTHER
GOOSE: That’s still not
very good. I know I’m no (popular female celebrity) but I do have
something that she hasn’t. Would you
like me to show it to you? (possible
reaction) I bet you do really. (reaches into basket and pulls out bag of sweets) It’s sweeties,
and you all get some if you shout out really loud. (MOTHER
GOOSE exits right and then come back on again)
Good-day, everybody.
AUDIENCE+VILLAGERS: Good-day, gorgeous.
MOTHER
GOOSE: That was much
better. Now, who wants sweeties? (MOTHER
GOOSE distributes sweets
to children as VILLAGERS exit)
Do you know I’m in such a generous mood I think I’ll sing a little
song regardless of the mayor’s silly singing tax.
SONG 2 Short lively number performed by MOTHER GOOSE.